Relationship Problems

Note: By "relationships" I mean romantic or intimate relationships. They have dating or courtship, and could become a marriage. Anything where people are "more than friends". These generally involve love, sex, living together, trust and monogamy, or hope to involve those in the future. Some of these ideas may apply to other kinds of relationships as well, such as friendships, employee/employer or child/parent.

This is a list of problems that people interested in relationships can think about.

  • How should we decide who to have a relationship with?
  • How can we avoid painful breakups and broken hearts?
  • People often get hurt by relationships. What can one do differently to be able to reasonably expect not to be hurt?
  • How can we get the benefits we seek with fewer commitments and obligations?
  • Which commitments or obligations play a functional (useful) role in relationships?
  • How can discomfort and nervousness be prevented during courtship?
  • What is love? And what increases or decreases it?
  • What is good, and what is bad, about sex?
  • How can we avoid being biased by New Relationship Energy and avoid rushing into things?
  • When and why should people move in together?
  • When and why should people marry?
  • Given that promises are irrational, can marriage or longterm commitment be rational?
  • How much should people try to share their lives? Is it wise to share your money?
  • How much privacy is good to keep when in a relationship?
  • How can you tell if someone will be a good parent?
  • How can you tell if someone will still like you in twenty years? And you them?
  • Should relationships be "put first" ahead of friends and sometimes career?
  • Is there anything important that can only be got from relationships and no other way? What, and why is important?
By Elliot Temple, Feb 2010 | Blog |

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